Awfully Awesome March Flick - The 'Burbs

Hey Pinnochio, where are you going? Next up on the Awesomely Awful Flick Forum is a movie that will take you back to the good ol' suburbia days of the '80s. It will also remind each of us of the the one thing can ruin a nice vacation--Europeans.

The movie has a big name star, Tom Hanks, who supposedly worked extremely hard in this film to show us all that he actually is a crappy actor after all. Hanks plays Ray Peterson, an overstressed and uptight lame ass who chooses to spend his vacation lying around his house complaining. Carrie Fisher (sans Star Wars attire) plays Ray's wife. Lucky for you, she actually serves no real purpose in the movie other than to nag (much like Star Wars).

Ray is accompanied in the movie by his two annoying, and apparently unemployed, neighbors: Mark Rumsfield (played by Bruce Dern) and Art Weingartner (played by Rick Ducommon). Mark is a Vietnam vet who's still living the military dream of kicking ass and Art's just an fat guy who you'll want to punch in the face throughout the duration of the movie.

Anywho, the suspicious Klopeks move in next door to Ray, and Ray and his "pals" take it upon themselves judge them and then physically intrude upon their privacy. Also, what dumb '80s movie is complete without a role played by Corey Feldman. Feldman plays Ricky Butler. And this is the role of Feldman's life. No, really, this is the only role Feldman has ever played his entire life. God, I hate that guy.

I'd say the Burbs is a good mix between Depserate Housewives and any other underachieving movie Tom Hanks and Corey Feldman took part in during the '80s, take your pick. I actually really do love this movie. Sad thing is that I have never met anyone else who does.

I hope you enjoy!

Awesomely Awful February Flick: Back to the Beach

Here it is gang, the highly-anticipated inaugural pick in our awesomely awful movie experiment. Hang on to your board shorts for 1987's Back to the Beach.

This movie has it all, including several cameos by major B-list stars, a spectacular wipe out montage, more day-glo spandex than you can handle, and musical numbers so cheesy you will need a bag of Tostitos.

Don't get me wrong -- it is awful, awesomely awful. From the first moment when we meet our troubled pre-teen hero (who in classic 80's style narrates directly to the camera), you will be thinking "oh good lord -- this movie is unwatchable." But just when you are about to lose all hope, OJ Simpson shows up with a pig-skin suitcase.

This pattern continues for the duration of the movie (spaces of less-interesting, but necessary storyline propelling scenes peppered with moments of brilliantness), culminating in the big surf off - the best part of the movie. Seriously, after seeing the cutting-edge surfing special effects, you will cry -- tears of joy. Hold out for it and the Humunga Cowabunga From Down Unda will not disappoint!

I will spare you guys a detailed plot summary. Just watch the trailer, available on Amazon.com video on demand. (And, yes, that is Wolfman Jack doing the voiceover.) I am also purposely leaving out a list of cameos, it will be more fun to discover them yourselves.

In conclusion, I gave this pick a lot of thought. I am confident that I have selected a cinematic masterpiece that embodies the spirit of what we are striving for here. So let me just go ahead and say this in advance, you're welcome.

Enjoy.